Teacher identity

How is this experience shaping your teacher identity? Give specific examples/stories.

If you were to stumble upon my 5th grade yearbook, you would find that my sole ambition was “to be a 3rd grade teacher.” Many years have passed between then and now, and despite a brief stint in my junior year of high school (where I was under the impression that I would move to Vermont and live in a log cabin and write pages and pages full of prose), that goal has remained constant.

I have spent my entire life as a student. This semester, I was able to catch a glimpse of what it felt like to be on the other side. Being able to work with these children has been such a humbling and rewarding experience. I grew up in a predominantly white, middle class town, and I had never really been exposed to anything else until I set foot in Lilac Elementary. To read and discuss all of the articles presented in this class while simultaneously experiencing the issues in a classroom firsthand was truly eye-opening. I suppose I was aware of racism and oppression on a very basic level, but now I realize what a pressing problem it is, especially after reading "Who, Me? What It Means to Be Involved in Privilege and Oppression" by Allan Johnson. It has made me so much more appreciative of the differences in culture and class. As I write this, I am realizing that before this experience, I was extremely ignorant and dismissive. I was participating in the system of privilege that Johnson compares to a game of Monopoly. As future teachers, we cannot condone this system. We cannot assume that Lucy will be pregnant at age 14 and drop out of school. We cannot get upset with Rita when she doesn't understand the way certain letters blend together to form specific sounds. We must be certain that Lucy realizes she can do anything that she chooses, instead of demanding that she choose from a list of options that have been chosen for her. We must remember that Rita grew up in a household where Spanish was the primary language, and that English is probably very scary and foreign to her.

Now that I'm aware, I am angry. My main objective now is to take that anger and use it to create the drastic change that needs to occur. I do not want to be the kind of teacher who expects students to conform to my own set of beliefs and ideals simply because it is "the way things are." I want each of my students to bring their individual stories and experiences and talents, and I want to embrace all of those things so that I can shape my curriculum to suit their needs and desires. I hope I remember to tell every child I encounter that they are valuable and capable and deserving.

And I hope that they believe me.