When parents and teachers collide

Imagine that you are the teacher of this classroom. What challenges might you encounter in collaborating with the parents of your students? How might you address these challenges? How might you demonstrate respect fort the concerns or contributions of parents?

One of the first few times I volunteered at Lilac Elementary, Michelle came in an hour late and Ms. Lennon inquired the cause of her lateness. Michelle snapped her head around, her colorfully beaded braids clanking against each other, and simply replied "My mama hadda do my hair!" Ms. Lennon remarked that although Michelle's hair was beautiful, school was slightly more important. It made me wonder how I might handle situations with parents who may not consider their child's education as important as I would hope. I think that I would try as much as I could to help my students understand how exciting and essential education is, so that they are more likely to invest time and effort into their work. Collaborating with parents, however, is extraordinarily important as well as inevitable. I think the main goal is to help parents understand that I am trying to work with them, that I am not the enemy, and that their involvement is appreciated and necessary. At the same time, I need to be willing to accept indifference for what it is; there is only so much I can do.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are parents who are extremely involved in their child's education. Last year, my little brother was in 5th grade, and a group of parents had gotten together and started a petition against his teacher. They claimed that she was giving far too much homework, and they wanted to put a stop to it. My mother thought this notion was ridiculous-- the workload, though challenging, was certainly not impossible, and it was clearly assigned with the idea in mind that these students would soon be entering middle school, where the amount of homework would increase. My mother actually asked me what I would do if I were attacked by an army of "momly moms" (a term we developed for alarmingly enthusiastic yet condescending mothers who appear to thrive on town gossip). I told her that if I spoke to each parent individually, they would probably be more willing to voice their true concerns and to listen to my own. There will always be a bit of conflict between parents and teachers; we both believe we have the best interest of the child in mind, and sometimes the suggestions we have cannot coexist peacefully and effectively. I think the best thing that I can do is listen without judging too quickly, and present my beliefs and ideas in a manner that is not arrogant or confrontational.